Keith Donnelly – stand-up comic, fall-down comedian, surreal snigger-songwriter, guitar-hero, performance-artist, [tall] story-teller, philophoser, scriptwriter, [none can] compere, man-of-mystery, inner-childminder, actor, stuntman, metaphysical-poet, human ping-pong ball, life and soul of the [kids] party, world-class athlete, leading socialite, raconteur, business tycoon, wit, author, half-wit, secret[sh!]-agent, [vauxhall] astral-traveller, shamen, geordie-cultural-attache, word-juggler, snake-charmer, underline-dancer, unexpected clairvoyant, dream-weaver, daydream believer, psycho-linguist, shark-wrangler, smile sculptor, [compulsive] lying-tamer, Great-British eccentric, [alleged] international-jewel-thief, hot-dog-skier, alien-abductee, zen grand-master, champion tiddly-winker, sandancer, friend to the pantomime horse, erstwhile slice of bacon, and all-round good egg.